Am i bothered? can i really be that bothered, clearly not, not in a Catherine Tate kind of way just in a really should change these socks kind of way.
When did it all start, and how quickly it spirals, first you leave the cap off the toothpaste and then before you know it you come home and have to wade through piles of magazines and newspapers before you can get to the kitchen.
I'm not usually messy.
Normally I'm totally retentive about cleanliness and being tidy, Sometimes you just get consumed by things and then you start to share your bed with fluff and crumbs and strange grey things. Its so hard to do the washing up though, i hate doing them, and honestly why iron a shirt when you can just pop a v neck over the top? I'm really just saving time.
I think I've caught myself before someone turned up from the council to enquire about the smell, which is good i do like to be ahead of myself, i thought i needed to have a clean, wipe the cob webs down and have a fresh outlook again, although once i started it became sort of OK, but goodness it's hard to do it on your own, there is no one to have a go at and no one to do it better than (yes cleaning is also a competition too)
Hopefully it shall be maintained, i should just get a cleaner or at least paper plates?
I just get so distracted, often by silly things, the sounds outside my window, the ticking of a clock, the many many thoughts that circle around and pile up in my head, Leona Lewis, and facebook, before i know it it's time to go to bed and push the strange grey thing out of the way and close my eyes.
So i shall be bothered, i shall be released, i shall go to the ball, so there.
Sunday 2 November 2008
Wednesday 29 October 2008
There is a hole in my shoe
October brings many things, the thought of winters fast approach and the smell of wet leaves on the floor, October has also brought the feeling of change in the air...smell it? Yesterday October also brought snow! which worried me somewhat as i had a huge hole in my shoe and as my temperament is to see things in a deep and slightly analytical way i thought it was a great metaphor for my life. Yes I had a cold wet foot and a bag of broccoli in my bag ( i have a terrible cold and thought consuming green veg would really help) needless to say i was feeling terribly sorry for myself and slightly out of sorts.
October, just before November and after September, in between the two neither here nor there, but clearly more there than here? and after my year all i really wanted was a hot beach some waves lapping at my feet some cold beer and perhaps some nice people around me, sadly fate has other things in store for this mister, a wet foot a blizzard and green vegetables.
Well thankfully October is nearly over and I have thrown my shoes away, November will soon be upon us (literally) and we'll all be moaning again about the weather, we'll also be moaning about the credit crunch and the fact Christmas always comes early, we'll be moaning about how expensive the clubs and pubs are for new year and we'll be angry that no one invited some of us out for new year house parties, we'll be upset that we'll put on weight and we'll be totally angry about who wins the x factor.
But none of you will have ever walked home in the snow with a hole in your shoe in October, and if you have you'll know that it's just a hole, and it's just snow, and you get over having pain and a cold and not having enough love in your life, these are tiny small things which we make big, they become hard to control and before you know it you are mixing the spirits and dancing like a mentalist to Celine.
Today the sun is shining and the weather is a bitter cold, the kind of cold that takes the breath right out of you and makes you want to sit in and drink strong coffee whilst listening to the neighbour play jazz music upstairs, the kind of day for contemplation, for remembering and for posting cryptic metaphor ridden blogs, the sort of day we all need sometimes, but not all the time...sometimes.
I may ask myself today if i really need another pair of shoes? or perhaps i shall spend the harsh winter wearing converse and dressing inappropriately, perhaps.
Personally i want some new socks and a hot water bottle and puppy and some good news, but as i wrote earlier fate may well have other things in store for this mister, hopefully less holes and snow.
October, just before November and after September, in between the two neither here nor there, but clearly more there than here? and after my year all i really wanted was a hot beach some waves lapping at my feet some cold beer and perhaps some nice people around me, sadly fate has other things in store for this mister, a wet foot a blizzard and green vegetables.
Well thankfully October is nearly over and I have thrown my shoes away, November will soon be upon us (literally) and we'll all be moaning again about the weather, we'll also be moaning about the credit crunch and the fact Christmas always comes early, we'll be moaning about how expensive the clubs and pubs are for new year and we'll be angry that no one invited some of us out for new year house parties, we'll be upset that we'll put on weight and we'll be totally angry about who wins the x factor.
But none of you will have ever walked home in the snow with a hole in your shoe in October, and if you have you'll know that it's just a hole, and it's just snow, and you get over having pain and a cold and not having enough love in your life, these are tiny small things which we make big, they become hard to control and before you know it you are mixing the spirits and dancing like a mentalist to Celine.
Today the sun is shining and the weather is a bitter cold, the kind of cold that takes the breath right out of you and makes you want to sit in and drink strong coffee whilst listening to the neighbour play jazz music upstairs, the kind of day for contemplation, for remembering and for posting cryptic metaphor ridden blogs, the sort of day we all need sometimes, but not all the time...sometimes.
I may ask myself today if i really need another pair of shoes? or perhaps i shall spend the harsh winter wearing converse and dressing inappropriately, perhaps.
Personally i want some new socks and a hot water bottle and puppy and some good news, but as i wrote earlier fate may well have other things in store for this mister, hopefully less holes and snow.
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