A holiday with myself

So I have had nearly seven days on my own in sunny Spain. It's been if anything a very relaxing break, I've barely said more than 'hola' and 'gracias' twice daily since I've been here. It's been a bit like big brother without the other contestants the tasks and with added Germans.

It's funny when you spend a but of time in your head, the thoughts you don't often give time to seem to rise to the top and the anxiety that keeps you going seems to dissipate. 

However some of my thoughts have been dangerous, for example for the last few days I have been by the hotel pool, reading my book taking the odd dip in the pool- the usual. My eyes have wandered, I've seen a couple every day sat near me all they do, is smoke eat crisps drink canned bear and smoke.. They repeat this every ten minutes. And they do this every day! EVERYDAY. Today I started to visualise their insides. Just for the fun of it.

There were a lot of couples, lots of ladybird tattoos, men in sports shorts and shirts drinking family sized bottles of full fat coke, girls with buggies with babies in, wearing fringed bikinis smoking drinking wine. 

I ended up putting my earphones in. Closing my eyes and shitting them all out! 

Insomnia

2.30am Friday morning. 

I arrived awake somewhat hot and sweaty, possibly due to the fact I had gone to bed wrapped in my fleecy dressing gown from primark, that coupled with my 400 tog duck feathered duvet well it was HOT.

Eyes open, head starts to unwrap all the things in my little head I'd been ignoring, work life love turning it all over again and again, then of course one thinks to oneself "I'll just have a quick look through Facebook and Instagram"

4am

Angered now by my looking at kittens on YouTube I decide to put my phone on airplane mode only to turn it back on immediately and go quickly onto YouTube to see who might be in the electronic charts.

I get up, go to the toilet, make the dangerous move of having coffee, take off strange fleecy dressing gown constructed of man Made fibres, and GO ON YOUTUBE ON THE LAPTOP!

5.20am

Hmm my alarm goes of at 6.15, ooh I feel sleepy.. Eyes begin to flutter closed. Cat decides to gingerly place paw on face and flex claws on my cheek, shocking me out of my relaxed state and making me feel as though a sharp ( albeit small)blade or blades were sticking on my face.

Get up.

Make more coffee.

Consider the world a bad place.

Try to think positive things, realise I have a meeting at 8.30am.

Get dressed.